Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i think i scared a bird with my dick
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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