I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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