Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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