Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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