Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm really busy with my period
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