My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
well you can't waste a boner
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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