Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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