How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
