VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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