I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
