Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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