Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
