ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
