Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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