he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
