Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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