so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
