Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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