It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
