He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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