Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
