Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
