I could have mohawked her pubes.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize