She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
