if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
