I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
