if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
