you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
