i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
