I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
