Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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