Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
