he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
