there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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