You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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