I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
