He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
