I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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