idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize