I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
