ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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