I am puke
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
