At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
