i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
