Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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