the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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