I heard we made out
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
