When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
not ubering you a puppy
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
