'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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