Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize