The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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