if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
