I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
