i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize