WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
