you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
