I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i think im in europe. pls send help
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