I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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