It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
