It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
