it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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