Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
