you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
