I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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