1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
