I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
