Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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