she woke up with a sticky ear
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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